The Great Northern Route, Part Deux

Leaving, Day 1

After Jill’s skillful packing of the car, we loaded Zoe, Arya, and Elaine into their respective slots for the trip. The cats were stacked in separate carriers in the front seat. Elaine was in the middle of the back seat, attended by an adult on one side. Thus, the non-driver could not see the road ahead, and the driver could not see the view to the right. This was fine for the first day, as we took turns driving and sleeping for about 22 hours. Jill took the first shift, from Ann Arbor to the suburbs beyond Chicago. I got us to Minnesota, and Jill went about 4 hours to dawn. I had about an hour of Minnesota and 2 hours of South Dakota. A few hours later, Jill ran into some bad weather and called 511. They recommended no travel west of Rapid City, which was less than an hour away, so we pulled off and booked a room at the Day’s Inn in Wall, SD.

In a bit more detail…Elaine and I snoozed for the first leg of the journey. The cats had their say, in turns, to register their dissatisfaction with the suite of decisions that had landed them in carriers. Jill, having not slept for about 41 hours, crashed out for the second leg. Thus, Michigan, Indiana, Illinois, and Wisconsin were resolved with a minimum of fuss. Dry roads and light traffic made it a swift and pleasant night. However, as I approached Minnesota, a fog had begun to settle in, particularly after crossing the Mississippi. So the third leg ended up being quite difficult for Jill, as she strained to see through the pea soup. She says that she tried waking me a few times, but that I was just completely out.

When I took over Minnesota duties, it was just barely dawn and still a bit foggy. Flat and farmy, there wasn’t much in the way of a view. Eventually, as the light increased, I was able to make out larger stretches of the landscape. Ghostly wind farms rose out of the rolling hills, white steel on white mist. Faint red barns emerged through the haze, and traffic picked up. All was quietly beautiful. Then, we entered the strangeness that is South Dakota.

South Dakota contains the Badlands, Mount Rushmore, and the geographical center of North America. I-90 runs basically E->W through the center of the state, which is mostly flat. But somehow, it’s flat in a pretty way. I actually enjoyed the view, although I can see that it would get old if you had to drive it regularly. Still, it beats the Ohio Turnpike, or really anywhere in Ohio. South Dakota is the billboard capital of the United States. I don’t actually know that that is true, but they must have more billboards and signs, per capita, at least, than anywhere else. One interesting hand-painted sign declared, “South Dakotans reject animal activists! Meat, fur, and livestock are OUR ECONOMY”.

Roughly one third (my estimate) of South Dakota billboards are generated by Wall Drug, a drugstore in Wall, South Dakota. An interesting feature of the Wall Drug billboards is the absence of any reference to the location of Wall Drug. A sign with a picture of a rodeo cowboy says simply, “Giddy Up! Wall Drug”. Another with a cowboy roping a doggie says, “Dally Up! Wall Drug”. Then there’s the famous “Free Ice Water! Wall Drug”, as well as the signs disclaiming that Wall Drug has received the attention of the New York Times and Time magazine. “This sign in Kenya, Africa – Wall Drug” indicates that South Dakota is not alone in its billboard-associated reverence of Wall Drug.

When Jill encountered harsh, blowing winds and snow on her shift, we located the nearest pet-friendly hotel. Was it fate, or chance, that the Days Inn we found was in Wall, SD? Fate? Or Chance? Fate….? Anyway, we got some crappy food at the Cactus Bar (seriously, the food totally sucked. What’s the deal, Cactus Bar? They can’t even make a decent sausage gravy, and there’s a SIGN on the outside of the building raving about how they have biscuits and gravy. Your gravy sucks. Sorry you had to hear it here. Hope you had a great Christmas.) and got a decent night’s sleep. I practiced putting chains on the car the next morning, in anticipation of the dreaded Snoqualmie Pass in the Cascades. We also had our first of three free hotel breakfasts that day. This was easily the worst. Also, I saw a guy who had a dreadlock mullet. Seriously, a white dude with dreads, except the top front part was all teased up and short. Really bizarre. To be fair, since this was a bit of a touristy spot, he could have been from North Dakota.

After a brief stop at Wall Drug, which, as you’d expect, has five times more space devoted to hideous souvenirs than to drug store items, we hit the road again.

To be continued…


(pictures forthcoming once we get a bit more organized)