Please Don't Steal My Idea, M'kay???

I spend a lot of time in the living room. Let's just get that out of the way to start. My lovely girl tends to bellow and weep when she is left alone amongst her toys, so we try to keep someone nearby to keep her amused. Usually, that's me. When I'm "parenting" thusly, my options for personal entertainment are as follows: 1)Actively play with/chase/be chased by/read to Elaine; 2)Check email on my phone; 3)Attempt to read a book; 4)Attempt to sleep; or 5)kick a green bouncy ball around the room. If I happen to be on the phone, I will almost always be kicking the green ball around, as well. Over time, I developed a personal challenge, which has refined itself into a formal game, of sorts. I call this game...well, I don't have a name for it.

Behold! A spider's eye view of the living room!



The game is played with a standard-issue bouncy ball, as one might find in a K-mart in a large wire bin. The goal is to kick the ball around the perimeter of the baby jail in as few strokes as possible. A game consists of nine rounds divided into three sets (right foot, left foot, player's choice). A round is either a completed circuit of the course or an out (disqualification). The player takes the best two scores from each set and adds them to give a final score. Lowest score wins.

The Launch
1. The ball is launched only from the launch area.
2. The ball must be tapped or bounced off of the side of the couch or nearby wall to get it in motion, but may not be "self-fed", or set up motionless to kick.
3. The ball must travel beyond the nearest side of the couch. A ball that breaks the facing plane of the couch without touching the couch is said to be launched.
4. If the ball, once launched, returns to the launch area, it is considered to have Never Happened, and a re-launch is allowed.

Gameplay
1. The ball may be struck in motion, but if the active player obstructs the motion of the ball for any reason, that is considered a stroke. The ball may be struck to ricochet off of the couch, baby jail, baby gates, or walls of the living room.
2. If the ball comes to rest on the couch, it is a one-stroke penalty. A player may kick the ball while it is still moving on the couch to avoid this penalty.
3. If the ball violates the airspace over the baby jail (flies over a corner), that is a one-stroke penalty.
3a. If such a launch ends up in Zone C, it is a two-stroke penalty.
3b. If a ball crosses two parallel walls of the baby jail in flight (Zone A directly to Zone C) it is a three-stroke penalty.
4. If the ball lands in the baby jail, or goes out of bounds (OB), the player's round is over and the player scores 7 for the round. (Exception: see tournament play)
5. If the ball strikes the ceiling, it is a two-stroke penalty. There is no need to ever hit the ceiling, so the penalty reflects this.
6. If the ball comes to rest trapped between the top of the couch and the wall, the player records five points (See Tiebreaker) and begins his turn over.

The Baby
1. If the baby is struck with the ball while it is in the air, the player incurs a one-stroke penalty. If the baby cries as a result of the contact, the round ends in disqualification, and the player scores 7 for the round.
2. At the beginning of the match, the start player may put toys away and arrange the red chair and the rocker as he sees fit. Any further adjustments made by the baby may not be subsequently changed by the players EXCEPT:
2a. If the red chair is agreed by all players to be too obstructive.
2b. If there is a dangerous or limiting obstacle, such as the rocker, in the launch area.
3. If the baby is too close to the ball to safely or cleanly kick it around or over her, play is suspended until this situation resolves. Any changes to the position of the ball by the baby are considered to be Part of the Game.

Special
1. If the ball comes to rest on the red chair, it may result in a free stroke. The player may nudge the ball off of the chair with his foot and strike it on the first bounce. This strike is recorded as if it was the previous stroke. Failure to strike off of the first bounce negates this bonus, and both the previous stroke and the stroke from the chair are counted.
2. If the ball comes to rest in the rocker seat, the ball may be placed on either side of the rocker for the next stroke. The stroke that put the ball into the rocker is not recorded.
3. If the ball comes to rest under the rocker seat, the rocker may be moved up to an arm's length from its location.
4. TIEBREAKER If two or more players end with the same number of strokes, the winner is the player who has the least number of points. If the game is still tied, the winner is determined by a Contest of Wits.
5. TOURNAMENT PLAY If there are prizes offered to the champion, then the game is said to be in Tournament Mode. A large ziggurat of no less than 18 blocks is constructed inside the far wall of the Baby Jail (adjacent to Zone C). If a player successfully launches the ball into the structure, he may re-launch with a beginning round score of -3 strokes. Failure to knock off even a single block will subject the attemptee to a disqualification and the smirking of his opponents.

Look! The Green Ball!


Two views of the Area of Play