A day in the life of Cancer Guy

Dagnabbit. I told myself that I wasn't going to use this here weblog for these purposes, but it's kind of consumed my recent life. Thus, here is this.

4:38 am Elaine sort of whimper-cries a few times. It is pre-dawn, meaning that it's not pitch dark out anymore. That's just not right, but I did choose to live closer to the North Pole. I have to pee, but I go back to sleep anyway.

5:05 am Elaine sort of whimper-cries a few times. "This one's for real", I tell myself. I tiptoe to the bathroom, hoping to pee before she loses it completely, waking Jill up.

5:07 am Not a peep from Elaine, so I tiptoe back into the bedroom (which is pointless, since every damned board in the floor squeaks and pops at 5am). Elaine sort of cry-whimpers. I freeze, listening. I decide that she's probably waking up, but hedge my bet by tiptoeing back to the kitchen.

5:10 am I decide to get a pot of coffee going, since Elaine has fallen silent again. I place a bottle near the sink, ready to make and shake as soon as she starts up again.

5:14 am Hardly believing my luck, and forgetting that this is not really a victory, I pour a cup of coffee and plop myself down in front of my computer.

5:17 am Having checked my email (nothing new since 6 hours ago), and most anything else that I find interesting, I begin clicking on my various webcomics, sports sites, and Boardgamegeek.

5:50 am Dregs of coffee are cold. I get a warmup. Since I'm up, I pee again.

6:20 am Elaine begins babbling in some foreign tongue. I ignore her until she starts complaining in the universal tongue.

6:22 am Shaking up a bottle, I go to greet the Queen of the Morning. That first hug is indescribable.

6:42 am I admit to myself that Elaine is not likely to go back to sleep after her bottle. We head for the living room where she crawls around hooting at things. I sit on the couch, feeling the irresistible tug of sleep calling to me through the caffeine.

7:15 am Change poopie diaper #1. Change Elaine into actual clothes.


Cycles of eating and sleeping ensue, broken by trips to the store/oncologist/Jill's job/etc. Someone from Jill's work shows up at a predetermined time with a banquet-sized portion of food. I attempt to make room for this in our refrigerator and freezer. (Dishes/laundry/vacuuming) (gets/does not get) done.

7:55 pm Elaine gets put back into pajamas, and maybe gets her teeth brushed and face washed.

8:05 pm Elaine and I dance around the living room to something funky.

8:10 pm Final kisses from mommy

8:12 pm I start to read a book to Elaine, generally "Goodnight, Gorilla".

8:13 pm However, she knows about the bottle. So it's lights out and bottle time.

9:00 pm She finally conks out, completely against her stated wishes. I leave her room like a thief.

9:01 pm I open a beer and do some more dishes, focusing on getting bottles prepped.

10:20 pm Vegging in front of the computer ensues.

11:45 pm Go to bed.

2:08 am Have to pee.

I hope that this gives you a better idea of what I've been going through lately. If anyone has any suggestions for improving my life, I'd be glad to evaluate them publicly.